There is so much you want to say so much you want to express but the problem is that you don’t have the right words or maybe you are confused, confused what is it that you are feeling. All your emotions feel caged because there are things you want to say but still you wouldn’t, because you don’t want to hurt people who are close to you so you try to suppress your feelings by yelling at yourself or maybe crying all night and going off to sleep with a hope that next morning these feelings might go away. Trust me this works, but it works for some time after that there comes a day when all these buried emotions come out together and trust me even it is then you feel helpless, confused and irritated and angry. Angry especially because suddenly you feel that everyone around you is criticizing you, is pointing out your little mistakes every second and wants to change you. You feel trapped. Trapped in these mixed emotions trapped in helplessness. You feel ‘nobody loves me and the moment I step out of my house people are ready to judge me and these people are nobody else but my loved ones’. As time passes you feel people have taken you for granted. This, my friend is the worst feeling of all.
Okay so this is exactly what I was going through, I was pissed off, alone, couldn’t sleep, and maybe suicidal (for a couple of hours). Suddenly my best friend called me up just to catch up, he tried a lot to ask me if I had some problem and if I wanted to share with him, but I refused. We hung up. But after the phone call I started to feel better. You know why? Not because I needed someone to talk to or because I was missing him but I felt good because he said “don’t know about others but I am proud of you.” These few words were enough for me to free my emotions. Right after hanging up his phone, my tears rolled down. I realize that what I needed were just few kind but genuine words. All of us once a while need someone to tell us that we are important and are needed. Maybe I sound as someone very weak but this is how it is. Most of the time we are busy making people happy and sometimes we expect them to do the same, this is where the problem comes,when you expect from people. But also these situations tell you who is the one who understands you when no one does. So next time if I see someone upset, I’ll walk up to him and tell him what I feel for him just like what my best friend did. Thank you Siddharth. That’s all I can say. Glad to have you in my life J J J
